Expand / Collapse search
☰

Kids don't discuss their parent's finances until its too late. Here's a book on how to

Published  September 17, 2019 7:46am EDT
News
FOX 2 Detroit

DETROIT (FOX 2) - "My own mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease when she was 65," said Cameron Huddleston. "I was only 35."

Like so many, Huddleston found herself playing the role of parent to her own parent. That meant managing her mom's finances. Unfortunately, it's a topic neither of them ever talked about.

"I had to figure everything out as I was going through it and as she was losing her memory," said Huddleston.

Making an already difficult situation even more challenging, Huddleston decided to write a book to help other children who are now caring for their parents. The book is called "Mom and Dad, We Need to Talk. How to have Essential Conversations with your Parents about their Finances."

And that means talking about it even if its taboo.

"It's personal, first of all. I grew up in a family where we never talked about money," said Joe Saul-Sehy, of the Stacking Benjamins Podcast

Saul-Sehy found himself in a similar situation as Huddleston and moved back to Detroit to be closer to aging in-laws and parents. The former financial advisor-turned podcaster, Saul-Sehy said it's never too early for parents and their kids to have an open conversation about money.

"The best time to talk to your parents about money was probably 10 years ago. But because we can't get that back, do it - do it now," he said.

So how does one have these kinds of conversations? Huddleston recommends starting with a story.

"Talk about someone you know who perhaps had a parent die without a will and how difficult it was for them," she said. "Or a colleague who had to take time off to care for a parent. And use those stories to tell your parent, 'Hey we should be having these talks.'"

And what should fill the bulk of those conversations? Huddleston recommends talking about:

  • Bills and how your parents paid them
  • Who has power of attorney if something happens
  • Having an attorney present if it makes things easier can also help

"You need to above all, be respectful," she said. "These are your parents after all so you need to show them the same respect that you would expect your own children to give you when they're talking to you."