DETROIT (FOX 2) - Detroit Police Officer Amanda Hudgens watched her partner of three years, take his final breaths.
"It just felt like a great day. It started off great and ended in a nightmare," she said. "I live day-by-day now. Sometimes I can't get out of bed."
Last Wednesday they stopped at a barbecue at the 2nd Precinct, their last picture together was the two of them laughing. Then - a call of shots fired - a call she says, they had gone on a thousand times.
"I remember seeing the muzzle flash and hearing the shots," she said. "I yelled some cuss words and then I yelled 'Loren!'
Her partner, Officer Loren Courts – took a round to his neck fired by a 19-year-old perched in a second-story apartment at Joy Road and Marlowe on Detroit’s west side.
As Loren – clung to life, the shooter came down and rushed at them.
"I already knew what was going to be coming my way, and I wasn't going to leave him," she said. "I couldn’t move him, because I couldn't let go - and he had no cover, so I made myself his cover. I looked at him said, 'Please don't leave me, I love you' and I held on."
FOX 2: "Why did you make the decision to turn your back and save your partner (first)?"
"It was never an option, I never would have left his side," Hudgens said. "It was always 'You got me' always."
The two met at the Detroit Police Academy five years ago – her first friend in Detroit.
"We both had the drive, we both just wanted to do good," she said.
They were partners on the Special Operations Team the last three years, they spent long shifts, in Scout Car 236 – listening to old-school hip-hop and keeping the streets safe, celebrating the wins with a special handshake.
DPD Officer Amanda Hudgens
"Any time we got a gun off the street and we knew it wasn't going to be used in wrong ways, handshake," Hudgens said. "Every day we hugged each other when we went out and when we got back and texted each other when we got home."
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Now, she’s being hailed as a hero - but it doesn’t bring her partner back.
"I have survivor's guilt," she said. "I am in therapy and it is hard to be called a hero when he didn't make it. It's very hard."
Officer Hudgens says she’s not afraid to ask for help – she’s going to therapy and will take some time off and says…what happened to her partner is motivating her to get back to work.
There is a GoFundMe for the Courts family. Find it HERE.
DPD Officer Loren Courts